Misty Grey

So this morning was supposed to be Misty’s surgery, and when I arrived my regular vet’s partner Dr. P came out from back to talk to me – the woman who treated Alley.  I don’t remember exactly what she said to me or asked, but I replied with something along the lines of “Well no, I am not happy about amputating my cat’s leg, but this is the best shot for Misty.” She said “No, it’s not.”  I stared at her.  This was what they’ve been pushing me to do all along, why am I all of a sudden being told it’s not?  I said “What do you mean?”

To sum up what she said, her husband had sarcoma too and he died from it. She thinks she knows all about sarcoma and that it behaves the same way in cats as it does in humans.  He had it all through his body by the time he was at the point Misty is now, and there is no way an amputation will save her, I will just be making her go through this surgery for no reason and she will suffer through the recovery and die anyway. I ought to just let her enjoy the time she has left. Misty is too old, and her heart arrhythmia makes it dangerous.  Her… father?  grandfather? had health problems and he was old like Misty and they wanted to take his legs and he asked her “Don’t let them take my legs” and she didn’t. All this stuff, these stories just shoveled onto me in a pile.

My vet came out during all of this and confirmed she was on board with canceling the amputation too.  They had talked for a long time last night and it was just breaking their hearts to go forward with this surgery.

W?

T?

F?

They scheduled this surgery and then waited until the morning-of to tell me this?

The took me in the examining room and talked to me some more (other patients were starting to arrive and I was kind of being turned into a spectacle, both vets hovering over me talking at me while I held my kitty and cried).  I asked them what I am supposed to do now?  Just wait until Misty’s leg breaks and put her down?  That doesn’t sound like a very nice way to go.  Or shall we hope the cancer didn’t go into the bone and that isn’t really what is showing on the xrays, and then maybe instead the thing will grow and grow until it outgrows its blood supply and become necrotic, a painful open wound that will never heal and eventually get infected? How is that better than giving her the chance that the amputation will give her?

They gave me the information for an oncologist and tell me to go talk to them, to do my research and make sure I know all my options and that I am really sure that this is what I want to do.

I left crying, frustrated, angry, with a pamphlet and a phone number, and my Misty, who just seems happy to be going home without being poked and prodded too much.